Never Give Up

Giving Up.

Its easy to do.

Its also been a big theme in my "agility" life the two months or so.  So I was totally excited when I saw Agility Blog Action Day was based on Attitude!

(if you don't know what that is... you should look here Agility Blog Action Day Info)

Anyways, getting back to my topic.

I went through a month last year when Leap debuted that was the BEST agility month EVER. We were Q'ing, winning, having these fabulous runs. Skye got his first excellent Q's. It was just *great*.

I think at that point I was thinking "Yes! I am finally "there" and we are the best" (orrr so I thought).

I got too cocky though. Then we hit September. I almost cried after our next few trials. We had our WORST Q rates ever. I was coming home from my first 3 day trials with 1 Q between the 2 dogs. The other runs weren't even CLOSE either.

I couldn't figure out what happened. I was trying my hardest to get back too it. I started OVER thinking though.

In the next few months Skye got a few MX legs but was still getting no where in Open Jumpers. Leap got 2 Open JWW legs but had done nothing close in any other runs. In the end of Jan leap went up to 26" (with much debate from other agility people that made me feel worse). She did well but our Q rate or runs were not looking much better.

I was ready to give up for a LONG time. I loved showing my dogs but it was not fair to make them keep showing when I was getting upset with how things were going.

I'm still not sure what happened exactly in those months. I tried going back to Leaps first trial. I expected NOTHING from her in those first few runs. She was JUST 15 months and still had lots of growing up and learning to do. But yet, that is when we did best.

Let me tell you its HARD to go back to trying to expect nothing when you have seen what they CAN do.

Then came May. We had our first show since Jan for Skye and Feb for Leap.

The weekend before. World Team Tryouts. I (of course) was cheering for all my friends. Getting to watch facebook for updates every 2 seconds. Round 1. Tori and Rev step to the line. Everyone is expecting them to blow it all away and be 2 time team members by the end of day 1. They fumble the run and are placed near the bottom of the pack.

I can't imagine being there from a top runner to after 1 round being sent to the bottom with everyone watching your next step. This is where I was blown away. They not only came back to WIN some of the coming rounds but they WON THE SPOT on day 2 to be 2 time team members. Sometimes things don't go as planned. Sometimes its for the better though. You learn and grow from it. You move on.

(by the way.. Tori and Rev rock and wrote an awesome post you should all go read too :) read here)

I have a hard time doing that. I have a bad run and I have a hard time changing my attitude (ahhh, theres that word) to forget it and run the next run better than ever. I tend to give up thinking there goes everything.

You know what I learned though? If you give up on that run.. where could the next run have taken you? If I run every run like the last ones counts for this one too. I will never get anywhere.

I guess maybe that was my problem. I was dwelling on other runs and not on what I was doing in that moment.


"Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. - Oprah Winfrey"

Many people inspire me and I learn from them. Daisy Peel and Solar had similar issues at Tryouts and weren't sure they would make the team but alas. They got picked because they are just GOOD. They will not let what happened then affect what happens later. Daisy (along with Tori) are my biggest inspirations on the mental side of this game. They keep moving on and doing well no matter the outcome. Both these lovely ladies have been on both sides too. National Champions.... not National Champs.... World Team Members... having bad runs... etc. 

(Daisy has a great blog too :) go there....dooooo itttttt)

Then Tori gave me this advice at just the right time before our trial.

Never Give Up. 


Truer words have never been spoken. Many people have said this over time but this time it really hit me. It was exactly what I needed to do.

We went out with this mind set and you know what? Our Q rate was still not the BEST. But it was better and ALL our runs were GOOD. Skye came out with 3 Q's... His best runs ever in those runs too!  I messed him and leap up big time in jumpers. It was good though because I knew it was MY fault. They did their best for ME. Leap only Q'd once but had some of the best runs she has had since her debut.

Attitude is everything. I know people say that a lot. It really is though. Your results will reflect your attitude!

Its hard to go to trials and not Q. I know its not what its all about but that *is* the goal. Especially when you have friends who Q almost 100% of the time (trust me... I know... most of my trial friends Q WAY more than I ever have....). Or when in the past you HAVE Q'd a lot and now you stopped. Or even when you just get stuck in a rut of "always Q'ing" and not getting any challenge or difference.

Don't get lost in the Q's though. Get lost in the moment. In every step you take. In every move you make. In having a connection with your dog. In just running. The Q's will follow when you find that moment.

I guess thats all I have to say. Attitude changes things.

"Keep Calm and May the Odds Be Everrr In Your Favor."

I'm gonna make this place your home

“Don’t pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear.”

Home.

Something I’m not sure I have right now. I am in “limbo” mode it feels like. I have a place I live. Is it really home anymore though?

If it isn’t home why do I have so much fear to leave it?

One of my goals in going to MI this week was to having serious reflection and prayer time to help me figure out where my home is and where I wanna be.

Not just a physical home but a mental/feeling one. Who makes me feel like I am home and why.

“To me. Fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” – Taylor Swift

 In spite of our fears.

Something I need to work on. Not letting my fears stop me from greater things.

My fear is keeping me from having a home right now.

I’m headed out back to MD right now. I am all checked in at the airport waiting. I didn’t have near as much time to blog and write thoughts as I wanted so… I am sure there will be posts coming soon on that.

Sorry for the mismatched post.  I am kind of extremely nervous right now. Getting on my very first flight alone! I have flown a few times with my family but never alone. So far so good though J  I guess you gotta do it sometime right?

Till next time MI. Hopefully next time it will be for GOOD not a visit. 

Just know you’re not alone

This is the first of a few posts I am gonna write as I am riding in the car on the way to MI. Since I have the time, mind as well write some thoughts down! So some of the times might be off a little in a few coming posts :) 

My biggest struggle with moving is leaving my friends. This was highly confirmed with my birthday party last night.

There are few people lucky enough to have a group of friends like mine. We have grown close over the last few years. Sharing our struggles, watching each other grow, graduating high school, starting college, and becoming adults.

Through it all though we have not lost our sense of childhood. Just last night we had an insane battle. People being thrown in the pool, locking and changing phones, the boys taking over the house and not letting us in, the girls then breaking in and over taking them, drinks being poured on heads. Oh and who can forget the endless discussions and debates about random subjects that really in the end have no point.

I will miss them more than anything.

To know I won’t be able to just call them up and hang out makes me really upset. I won’t get to do crazy things with them (errr be the voice of reason).  I won’t get to laugh at all the awkward comments and jokes. I won’t get to hug them (this might be the worst).

Making random snowmen in huge snowstorms. Seeing your friends lick said snowman... and getting a picture. 

  Fake band pictures after a long night at work...

  

   Car pranks....

Giant Gummie Bears named Walter Hugo

  Sunsets...

They are my people.

“She’s my person. If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She’s my person” – Meredith Grey

One of my favorite quotes from Grey’s, for sure. It feels terribly true about my friends too. They would be the first I would call if I were in trouble.

I know life is all about growing up and making new friends. I hope I can keep my old ones forever though. They are those type of friends.

“Tell me you’ll never forget me, because if I thought you would; I would never leave” – winnie the pooh

Old picture but this was a really good day and one of the only pics of most of us :) 

Don't Forget Me

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou


One of the things that has been on my mind a lot lately is what would everyone say about me if I died tomorrow? Who would I die mad at, who would I die with, who is the last person I would see?

This especially has hit me hard after hearing of the loss of an amazing agility woman. Judy Shinogle and her GSP's were traveling in baltimore at 6:30am sunday morning when a vehicle crossed the median and killed Judy and one of her dogs Bruni instantly.

Judy was one of those people who always made you feel comfortable and at home. She never lost her smile or encouragement no matter how her day was going. I had the honor to crate next to her and get to know her on a few occasions.  I can honestly say because of people like Judy I love the agility game. She was always there helping keep me calm and helping me out when we had similar conflicts at a few shows.

Its a shock when you expect to see someone again and thank them for that. Only to find out you never can do that.

Life can be over in a split second. So how are you living your life? Will people remember the last time they saw you with a smile or a frown?

I am trying to change my out look on things. Take more risks, smile more, find the good in things, change peoples lives, help others, and simply love more deeply.

I don't want to be thought of as a boring or same old person. I want to make a difference. I don't want to wait anymore either. Because I have seen just how quickly life can change.


Thank you Judy for all you did for me and for the everyone else. You will never ever be forgotten.

Judy and Bruni after a MACh in 2011. (photo credit to Kaitlyn Dreese)

               Live your life as if ends in a minute. No time is for sure.

     "You know all those things you wanted to do? You should go do them."

Then Life Came Marching In

"When the world says give up. Hope Whispers.... Try it one more time."


I have tried this whole "blogging" thing so many times. I am determined to do this! I think my problem was I tried to make "dog blogs" and while I love my dogs and will bog about them a lot (so don't read this if you don't want to hear about them ;))... this is also just for me to write all my thoughts down in one place!

Life.

Have you ever felt like one day it just jumped on your back and won't let go till you decide what you are gonna do with it? Well, its on my back right now.

My little sister is graduating high school thursday. Not only that but I turn the big 20 on friday. When did I grow up?? When did I come to the point that my teen years are gonna be behind me?? When me and both my sisters will be officially out of our school years (minus college that is...)?

This life thing comes with lots of decisions.

One that I have been working on is what I am doing with my life. My conclusion has pretty much come to this.

"If you want to know where your heart is. Look to where your mind goes when it wanders"

What wise words.

And the truth is. I wasn't letting myself go to that place for a long time. I really couldn't tell you why. Probably self doubt, wanting to hang on to things, and worry.

But here I am. I know you are all wondering... Well, where the heck did it go??

Easy.
Family.

Yes, I see my parents and sister everyday. Let me explain.

I grew up in a "odd" situation. I got to see most of my cousins almost every day. We had family get togethers at least once a week. Not only them but I grew up at camp. It was like a family too. Big groups getting together and just having fun. I think this is why I love dog showing so much because it reminds me of this.

My heart has been longing for home. Home with my family, the crazy get togethers, the bickering, the problems, the laughter, the joy.

And so, with that. I am planning a big move. I am scared out of my mind. I mean to go live on my OWN scares me to death and at the same time is strangely invigorating.

I am also thinking about taking classes to do Animal Assisted Therapy. I have been thinking for a long time about what I want to do as a "career". I feel like this will combine everything I love and still leave me time to do things like train, trial, and do other things. I plan after taking the classes to work on some type of program with children. Not sure what exactly yet, I just know thats what I am called to be doing!

So, pending a job and a place to live. Me and the BC's will be packing up and heading to MI come august.

I am scared to leave my friends, scared to leave my agility family, and most of all... scared just to do it.

"Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles. It just empties today of its strength"
                                                        - Corrie Ten Boom

And so with that.... This blog and the rest of my life will start. I am sure there will be many more posts to come. Thoughts have been forever swirling through my head lately.